Have we all become sulks?

What happened to the days when it was cool to be tough and not to let anything bother you? When you were sick, you pretended not to be sick, when you were crying, you pretended not to. And when something hurt, you pretended it didn’t? Isn’t that what our mama taught us: “dry your eyes and keep going”. Is that what has changed it, different kind of parenting? There is so much focus on the kids, that the essentials fall apart. If a kid falls over cause someone accidentally pushed them, there is need for a parent-meeting, hospital and a written report for next time. I wonder if parents in this way have made their kids into big sulks.
Everyone is sick all the time, has to take time off work, stay in bed, watch series, eat soup and drink green tea with ginger. And we make sure everyone else knows about it too. I was sick, it was terrible, I still have a bit of a sore throat. Watch out you dont get it, keep your distance. It’s what all my colleagues say, all the time. We constantly wants other people to feel sorry for us. Even people we aren’t very close with, people at work, on the streets, in shops. What happened to being tough?

Let’s go back to being tough again and toughen-up. If we are sick, let’s not tell anyone (to a certain extent) and let’s get that pretend face on, even though people can see through it, but it’s cool. No, I am not sick! Yes you are, stay at home. Nope, going to work. You know where I’m heading?
Toughening up can also cure us, I think. If we don’t surrender to the sickness we might be able to beat it. Go out for a walk, a bikeride or a horse-ride, take a shower and you feel much better! Staying in bed, not moving makes every sickness or disease crawl up upon you and intake the weak, motionless body.

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Placebo

 

Great news, placebo works! But it actually really does. I was listening to this podcast about Linda who, for 10 years have had pain ect. (other nasty things that don’t need mentioning here), due to so-called bowel syndrome. I have met lots of people suffering from this illness. Issue is, I think, that no one really knows what it is, therefore it is really hard to cure. She had tried all different kinds of medicines and treatments but nothing had changed a thing, until she tried placebo. What!
The doctor told her straight up front; “hey, here are some sugar pills, they are not designed to have any therapeutic value, but give it a shot”. She must have thought, I’ve got nothing to loose so why not. She did, first two days nothing happened of course, but the next few days, her pain went away and it stayed away! The doctor even took the placebo pills away from Linda and she immediately stating to feel sick again. He then began giving them to her again and the pain and illness went away again.
How does that work? She didn’t have any expectations towards the pills, she was probably expecting them not to work, yet they did, even though there is no medicine in them. Confusing, but does it makes sense? It’s all inside our head, controlled by our mind and our subconsciousness. Somehow her, and a whole heap of others in this study, cured their own illness, with a pill they knew had absolutely no effect.

So that made me think of course, it will probably make you think. But I thought, how about the other way around. Can you make yourself sick? I know that people can be hypochondriacs and can create illness and diseases they’ve read about and so on. But in most of those cases I’ve heard of, the doctor can’t diagnose them with anything, because they don’t actually have a disease. But, if you can cure yourself from something, you can surely make yourself ill, there can be no doubt. I actually believe curing would be harder than creating. But I can’t find any useful studies on this, like the ones that have been made about placebo, Linda and many others.
These days we are so aware of all the diseases and illness we can suffer from and how it can hit anyone. Now it’s not just people who are unfit, unhealthy, smoking or have bad genes. It’s everyone, young and old, healthy and unhealthy. All the things we are exposed to, microwaves, light products, technologies, preservatives, all different kinds of radiations and radioactive substances. And we are very aware of these elements. I reckon, we can create diseases in our minds, subconsciously. I personally think to myself, in the future we are gonna have a massive issue with different sorts of cancer due to these above mentioned elements. I am gonna be one of them, no way I am going to be able to go through life healthy and with no diseases. Am I creating cancer in my own body with my mind? We are so aware of it. I am so aware of it. There is a blister in an odd spot in my mouth, just under my tongue. Right, must be cancer, I eat too many lollies with too much shit in it, I have given myself cancer. But I haven’t, it is just a blister, but can that mindset actually create cancer? Cancer from nothing, like the cure from nothing, the one that Linda managed to achieve. I bet you it can.
Our mind is stronger than any medicine, but it’s not acknowledged in our society, it’s too “spirituel” and not scientifically approved, therefore no good. We have no complete understanding of these aspects and probably never will have or can have, which is maybe why it works, or maybe works. It is out of our control, but yet completely under our control!

Quarter-Life-Crisis

Is this a new phenomenon? We all know of the so called midway- or
midlife-crisis. Around your 40’s 50’s you realise you’re half way (to be honest
more than half way). questioning what you’re doing with your life, if it’s the
right life, is this what you wanted, what you dreamt about. Also realising your
body isn’t functioning as well as it used to, it’s staring to slowly break
down. To be honest I can’t really express what a midlife crisis feels like, as
I am only 27. But I can tell you, what I call quarter-life-crisis feels like.
Firstly I am probably not gonna make 108, so the name is misleading. Probably
more like a-third-of-a-life crisis, but that’s too hard.

Being a Dane, growing up in Copenhagen, I believe there are more expectations from society than I have experienced here. The governments have had a goal to push 95% of young people to get a higher degree, like a university degree and get an academic titel. Further is the lowest grade to get accepted at university an average of C. It is a great deal for the young generation as university is free and on top of that you get paid equivalent to a 1000 dollars a month (for a max of 7 years). The government want to support rent, books and other expenses so, you as a student, don’t have to work on the side, but can focus entirely on your studies. As I have been a young student for almost four years in Copenhagen, I don’t remember anyone who didn’t work. Cause why wouldn’t you and then have even more money by the end of the month (yes, we do everything monthly). But great initiative from the government.

Trying to force 95% of young people through university is going to give the society a few hiccups along the way (that is mild expression for the issues Denmark is going to have). Firstly, not everyone is suited for university, and I think more than 20% of young people aren’t suited. Like myself, you think I am, but I probably wasn’t, as I have never finished my whole course (I am without my Master’s). Secondly, there are created too many different degree’s, which lots of them will never lead to a job. Like the history and culture of Inuits (native people of Greenland) a population of about 50.000 people. There are going to be no jobs for the people graduated, except from maybe one or two! Thirdly, imagine 95% or even just 75% of young people completed a university degree and all got jobs in their desired fields, who is going to pick up the trash, take care of the children and the old, public transport, work at the supermarkets and so on? After finishing a university degree, you would not like to take that step “down”. And with the immigration politics we have a the moment, we can’t even get foreigners to do it.

Enough about the governments expectations to young people. There are also our parents and family’s. As Denmarks biggest export is knowledge it lays within history for every individual to become something, the best version you can be of yourself and that you push yourself as far as you can. It is no more organised for us, how we’re going to make a living. We have to come up with it and create it ourselves. This is a lot of pressure for a 27-year old.
I have travelled lots, but I am still working as a barista, just to earn the money, not studying, kinda on a standby in my life. From the outside world, this might look like the perfect life, heading in the “right” direction. I have a very supportive family, the best boyfriend, the most amazing friends and I’m doing the hobbies that I love, and oh yea, a full time job. But on the inside, I have no idea where I am heading, I don’t know what I want to do, only what I don’t want to do. Everyday I try and find purpose in life, except from making people around me happy. I don’t have a good enough degree to get a job in my field. I don’t have experience to get an internship in my field and I don’t have the aim or goal of which direction I want to head, it’s just not there.

Every part in life is important and every experience teaches us things we wouldn’t have learned otherwise. A quarter-life-crisis is important to every young person out there. It makes you re-evaluate if what you’re doing is good enough for you and I believe it makes you appreciate your life even more when you get out on the other side.
To get out, talk to people, exploit contacts and other people contacts. Use your friends and let them tell you that they’ve experienced similar feelings. Somewhere there will be an opening that will take you the direction you need to go.

Act Of Kindness Day

Before I came to Australia I had never heard of this thing. Actually before I starting working at Coffee Sisters (shout out) I had never heard of this. First time I encountered this “act” was when I was serving a customer in our drive-in. She ordered a coffee and said “Can I also pay for the next persons coffee?” I was so confused, I was like, do you know the next person coming in, in case which kind of coffee are they having so I can press an actual bottom on my iPad (as there is no bottom that says Act Of Kindness). I had to go back in and ask the other girls, what does this woman mean. Apparently it’s a thing. You pay 4.5 (or 5 if you wanna give them a large) extra for whoever the next person is. They drive off and we get the luxury of telling the next person, that this coffee they are now ordering, is free, because the kind person in front of them bought it for them!

So the 29th of April is Act Of Kindness Day! I don’t have an amazing story to tell from 2019 so this is from 29th of April last year. A customer came in relatively early and ordered a coffee for themselves. The owner of our coffee shop happened to be rostered on for work on this day and she knew about this special day (most likely thanks to Facebook, like we all know how it’s helps us remembering people’s birthdays). She said “Did you know today is Act Of Kindness Day and this morning I bought a young girl $20 fuel at the petrol station”. (Our boss loves to chat and so does the regulars). This customer must have thought, hey great idea, cause she bought the next customer a coffee. But what the amazing thing is, this “act” went on for about 40 minutes! 40 minutes at one of the most busiest drive-in’s South of the River with more than 4 drive-in bays. This is a lot of kindness being passed on.

The one person to end this “act”, must have been the right person. According to my boss, she burst out in tears maybe due to the kindness in people and possibly also due to the probably very needed free coffee she got. We need to do more of these Acts Of Kindness towards each other, we need to be better human being towards one another, stranger or friend, poor or rich, black or white. The feeling it gives us when you do something kind to another person is much better than the largest, best brewed coffee you can get (even though it’s a close second).

See more on Facebook about Random Acts Of Kindness. It is actually really a thing.

A Day Off

The 26 pancakes

A day off work is like a miracle, especially if it’s unexpected. Happens very rarely, but there’s nothing better than when the Boss calls you to tell you “we don’t need you in today, you can have the day off” (I work as a Barista, probably the only profession where this scenario can happen). Yessssss mama, you think. First thing you do, go back to sleep. Dang it, then you wake up, much later and you have that groggy-feeling I like to call it. It’s when you’ve slept more than, for me personally, 10 hours and you feel more tired than when you went to bed.

Then you realise it’s 11am and you’ve already wasted almost half of your day off. Get something to eat, mmh I might make something nice for breakfast, for all it is a day off. You decide to make pancakes, from scratch. Doesn’t actually take that long, all it is is eggs, flour and milk and then on the pan for a minute or two. But the pancake mix just always happens to become a massive portion, like two or three liters of milk and flour and it takes you two hours to make 26 pancakes. Well, at least you can have pancakes for the rest of the week now.

1pm. Better do some laundry now I have the time. Uh I might just sort my clothes now I’m with it, while listening to loud music of course. 3pm. Better do some shopping so I can make a healthy, delicious meal now I have the time for it. 4pm. Everyone else in the household starts getting home from work. Jeez, feels like the day is almost over then, even though mine feels like it have just only started. Exercise and feed the horses (yes that is part of my daily routine). And kaboom, sun sets, it’s dark, day is over and I have achieved absolutely nothing during this whole day! (Except a weeks worth of pancake breakfasts).

I COULD have gone to the hairdresser, or for a wax (which I need), washed and cleaned my car (which it needs), caught up over coffee with an old friend that I haven’t seen in forever, done those insurance papers that has been on my do to list for six months, called my parents and made their week and probably a lot of other things that urgently needs doing.

So really instead I could have been at work for 8.5 hours and earned a whole heap of money (a whole heap is a lot said, as we all know baristas don’t get payed in whole heaps), but it wasn’t really my choice, I just did as my Boss told me, right. Also I probably feel very well rested for tomorrows work day!